Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Relationship Problems Solved By Design?

Designing For The Sexes. Do you guys remember that show on HGTV?

He wants modern, she wants traditional. She wants floral, he wants stripes. It something that has come up for most of us I can imagine.

 Designing for both men and women so we can all live in harmony. It seems like this is an issue a lot of couples/ significant others deal with. I've been pretty fortunate; my husband doesn't seem to mind much how I design our home. My taste is pretty simple and not very ornate so I'm sure that helps. Of course he did have an opinion this one time though....

I saw a recent article on Houzz that talked about this a little bit further. Not only designing your home to make each person happy and comfortable, it discusses using design to strengthen your relationship. I thought it interesting enough to share.

1. The first thing the article mentions is putting your relationship first. They suggest having a quite place in your home for you and your spouse to be together with no interruptions- to TV, no cells phones. This could be your bed room, a nice outdoor patio, or even a window seat with a nice view.

The article also mentions having reminders of your relationship around the house. This could be pictures from your honeymoon or a special vacation, tickets from a movie you shared, ect.

2. Taking the communication thing further, the article talks about removing distractions from the home. Having a quiet place where you can talk to each other some misunderstandings become limited (see item 1 above).

The article also talks about being able to close off computer and TV areas so they are not a constant distraction.

3. Finances. A source of stress for a lot of us. Keeping organized and having everything in one place helps keep things in perspective. (See item 2!)

4. Household responsibilities. Oh snap~~ this is a big one for me. Back when I was working full time we split everything pretty evenly. But since I've become a stay at home mom most of the household chores have fallen on me. Talking about what is expected from each other is important and will save a lot of resentment. 

I always have a smile on my face when I do chores. NOT!

The article suggests rotating chores and switching it up every now and then so one person isn't having to do everything. I like that idea!

5. Keeping the bedroom romantic. Bow Chica Wow Wow!! All kidding aside this is important. If your bedroom is a mess, your home office is in your bedroom, your TV is on all the time; these are all things that could lead to added stress in a relationship. Not to mention it can make it hard to relax and sleep at night.

The article suggests clearing out the clutter, cool soothing colors, and keeping light out at night (black out shades, no bright alarm clocks, ect.) and keeping electronics out of the bedroom.

Some other things I thought about were having 2 sinks in the bathroom. I know this isn't a luxury for everyone. We had only 1 sink we shared in our last home and I wanted to strangle my husband every day! 

Ok maybe not that extreme but I would try to get ready for work or bed either before or after him so we weren't tripping all over each other. Now that we have 2 sinks in our new home the world is a happier place.

I also think having a King size bed is a luxury that helps relationships. We have a Queen right now but I'm hoping for a King soon!

There's nothing I'd like more that being able to spread out and not be elbowed in the face at night!

How about you? Have you designed your home to help your relationship?


Ashley@AttemptsAtDomestication said...

I love these suggestions. I also want to keep a tv out of our bedroom and keep the theme our wedding. So I can look around and be reminded of why I married the smelly man that pissed me off right before bed ;) And we actually had the queen vs. king debate recently and we decided to go with a queen (we were sleeping in a full!)

Gen said...

That's very interesting. I think if a couple decorates together, rather than just 1 of them taking reign, even if that person takes into account both tastes, can really help a relationship. Also helps if they have the same taste! That's what my parents do. They do the shopping together for the big stuff too (like bedroom set) and they have the same taste (which is not my taste... just saying!).

I wonder how it will be with my bf and I. We haven't lived together long enough, but I know our tastes are very different, in the sense that I LOVE color and decor, and he'd rather have a blank white wall. But he's warming up to my crafting and decorating now, he sees that it makes me happy. I think I'll have more the upperhand in decorating when we get our own house. Right now also all our furniture is second hand from my parents, so not really much choice for that yet.

We have a double bed right now. It's getting worn out... I want to go to queen size, he likes the cuddling (so do I but I like to feel like I'm not falling off the bed!), no space for a king size.

I like the idea of hiding the TV and computers and will probably incorporate that eventually. We've decided to go internet-less at home next month- dunno for how long, so we'll have a lot of time to spend together!

Ok sorry I wrote you a chapter :S I like your discussions :)

Oh oh wait one more thing, I don't get the 2 sinks thing, I really don't, sorry. We have a tiny apartment bathroom and we have no problems. I only use the sink to brush my teeth, which we actually do together lol and no problems, or wash hands after toilet. I would think it would be more useful in the kids' bathroom, oh how I would've loved not to wrestle with my brother for that!

Gen @

momto8 said...

my husband just lets me do whatever I want in the decorating it is way easy!! and double sinks are a wonderful luxury in a marriage!!

Lori said...

Love your blog, and so glad I found you on the Linky blog hop. I am now following on GFC and LF. I would love if you stopped by and followed back, so we can stay connected. Lori

how to get over a break up said...

There will be always problems in relationships. Some are trivial some are serious but in all these problems the couple should always seek to reconcile themselves so that it won't end up in a painful way.